One of my coworkers’ wife is expecting a baby daughter sometime soon. He was talking about children names and how he and his wife have not yet come up with one for their baby. This reminded me of a thought I had in the past, so I thought I’d share it with you all.

If you ever get to the point where you’ve decided to have fun with the life of your child, one of the things you can do is give him or her a “unique” name. For me, it will be nnGGHWAH!

Now, it may be hard to convey with puny Earthly written words, but it should prolly sound like this: The nnG part is part nasal, and you have to tighten your upper abs in order to carry it out well. It’s similar to the grunts you make on the toilet. For the GHW transition, you need to narrow your lips like the way you say “you.” Your abs should still be clenched, but released mid way. The AH sounds like the A in “happy” before the P’s. Now the reason there is an exclamation mark and the nn’s are lowercase is that the name is supposed to increase in intensity gradually. Perhaps a better representation would be nnGGHWAH! However, it would prolly be a bit obnoxious to force your child to have to boldface his or her name when writing it by hand.

A name such as nnGGHWAH! will surely provide your child (or at least you) a lifetime of laughs. If any of you ever need name suggestions, I’m your man.

2/08/08 Edit: Alphabet fail. Kim would come before King, wouldn’t it?