I know what I heard.

Normally this wouldn’t matter…

But once you hit a certain age. Anything like this coming from you is simply hilarious.

Nothing to say here.

Really.

Essentially:
“Hi I’d like to discuss some options for my account.”

“Most certainly.”

“I’ve just recently paid off my loans and now that my account is going steadily, I was hoping to earn some money off of it.”

“You might be interested in our savings accounts. Are you familiar with them?”

“Yeah. I noticed the interest rates were kinda low.”

“They may seem low, but they are very competitive rates. We can also provide higher tiered interest returns starting at $15,000.”

“Yeah, I saw those too, but with the current rates, I’d still be losing money to inflation. Is there anything you can do to give me a higher rate?”

“Unfortunately, these are bank regulated rates and we can’t change them.”

“So you can’t raise them for me?”

“These are state wide rates and I’m afraid we can’t alter them for individuals.”

“I see. I’d like to do a wire transfer please.”

Let’s beat out poverty. Batman Style.

We’ll stomp ‘em out with our wallets. Literally.

A Messenger Bag – My current one has served me well for the past 6+ years, but I think it’s time to bury the thing. I’m thinking dark brown canvas, with clasps. No buttons, no velcro. Single pouch on the inside, with a spot for pencils. Sexy enough?

Wallet – My red nylon velcro wallet. How I loved it so. It’s been with me close to 15 years, I think. I think I’ll get another one of the same kind. Leather? Pfft. And I prefer bifold over trifold.

Fitted Shirts – I’ve decided to try and wear shirt and tie to work, to distinguish myself from the other youngsters. Don’t know if I’ll follow through with it, but at least I’ll have a sexier wardrobe. Heh. Buying regular dress shirts tend to be nicer on my wallet, but they tend to have too much fabric at the bottom and sleeve. I’d prefer a sleek look so that I can wear it casually if I chose to do so. And this way, I’ll have something to wear when I prey on young college kids. (Because, I’m like so old.)

Ties – For the above reason. And it helps you vary your outfit to a greater degree. Nice ties don’t have to be expensive!

Pants – Well, I don’t have any. I love shorts too much.

Work Laptop – Not my money, but… Apparently I get to buy equipment for myself! Yay employment!

Furniture – Planning to rent from my bosses? new house. Cheap rent, but unfurnished. Wish there was an IKEA nearby.

A nice wife – One that likes eating yummy things hopefully.

And maybe even…

A scooter – Always wanted one, so why not?

Things bought already:

Camera – Now I can stalk the young college populace like a true voyeur.

Vegas Tix – Time to spend all my money away!

So yeah, I’m feeling pretty good, and hopefully my money will be around too. I’ll see how it goes.