Posts Tagged ‘sleep’

Counting less sheep

duck Sleep less, and you have more time. Simply stated in that fashion, it sounds true, if one would actually put their extra time awake to good use. But if you sleep less, are you actually able to use that time fully?

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Yadda, yadda, yadda…

For the self.

I will finish writing about my Taiwan trip. (It’s mostly the photo arranging that is the most work. But otherwise, I’ve already jot down notes in a small journal on what I’m going to write about.) I will bake real cookies. I will start a comic. (About that- I have quite a few ideas, even general character designs, and even a hefty about of webspace to work with.) I want to watch some anime. I will give Daphu a life better than her dreams. I will invent new yummy recipes. I will develop a study ethic. I will find a Summer internship. (Preferably in the NY area – weeeee!) I will plan an awesome overseas Summer trip. I will dine at every restaurant in the campus area. I will earn money during the school year. I will learn to spend less. I will learn to enjoy sleep. (Daphu helpu?) I will recieve happy grades. (Or at least not-so-angry ones.) I will enjoy our life together. I will make the most of my time.

By the way, I can’t sleep today. Odd.

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I’m dying.

Or at least degenerating into a lower lifeform. For the second night in a row, I am sleepless. During this odd hour of 3:33AM, I normally would have been fast asleep by now. Yet once again tonight, I am staring at inside of my eyelids, waiting for sleep to take me. I am exhausted, but sleep does not come to me. I read a book for a while and listen to soft music. I worked on some homework. I stared at my computer screen for a bit. Nothing. Didn’t think things could affect me such a way.

It’s a strange feeling, really. I didn’t toss or turn, but rather just laid in bed. Hours passed by, but boredom wasn’t really an issue. My mind likes to fill itself with thoughts, however. I try to figure out the things I need to do, things I’ve done wrong, and the things I need to do more of. But there is no direction. There is no guide.

I guess I’m being too serious about everything.

I’m tired. I guess I’ll fit in with the Halloween crowd when I head to class looking like a zombie.

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The spot you can never keep.

spot I’m sure everyone has struggled with this at least once (if not thousands of times) during their lives. I personally struggle with it quite often. It is a reminder of the impermanance of worldly pleasures and a sign that all good things eventually come to an end. This foe has no name, but it’s presence is widespread and devastating. The time has come to bring this evil to light.

You wake up from bed. There’s no real reason to get up so soon, so you decide to stay lying in bed. It is quiet, and you are feeling a peace that can only come from having lived through the pains of the modern world. The position you are lying in, it is not natural, but for some odd reason, it just works. In fact, it’s the most comfortable you’ve ever been. The blanket, bed, and pillow have molded around your body during the night, giving you a personal fit that is impossible to find anywhere else. You are warm, and you love your bed. It loves you back by holding you. You never want to leave this spot, and decide to stay right where you lie.

But then it strikes. You hear your alarm ring or some knocking at the door. Or maybe it’s a phone call or the need to go to the bathroom. Regardless of what it is, they all have the same motive. You must leave this spot, a place so blissful and warm, to deal with the world outside. You are reluctant, but you do slowly lift the covers off yourself. You lift yourself off very gently, lest the spot be disturbed. You run to whatever drew you away from your loving home. Task completed, you dash back to your bed. You reinsert yourself gently beneath the covers, taking care not to disturb the bed anymore than you need to. You fold your arms and legs in the exact same position as before, and shift the blanket into proper position, taking care to bring back any particular folds that were there. Your memory has never been this good before.

But regardless of what you do, something is wrong. The damage has been done. The same spot you place yourself in, is just not as comfortable anymore. Maybe it’s not comfort. Maybe it’s something else. However, something is missing. That something which made this position perfect before, is missing. The spot is no more. A cunning evil has robbed you of it. This evil preys on our worldly responsibilities, to bring us out in the world. It leaves our “home” vulnerable, and during this time, the evil robs it of it’s magic. Once we return to our ravaged spot, we are disgusted. It’s not the same; a poor copy of the bliss that came before. The damage has been done well.

In my history of having met this foe, I have yet to win a battle amongst our countless encounters. We can resist it, but eventually it always wins. No matter how quick or nimble you are, this evil always manages to do its damage before you can reclaim your prize. Maybe it’s a battle that you can’t ever win. Well that just sucks.

If anyone has managed to defeat this evil, tell me your ways!

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